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These Are the 5 Sex Toy Trends Everyone Will Be Trying in 2020

Each new year (or in this case, decade) brings lots of new wellness trends and fads. You hear your coworkers talking about the new diets they're trying, your relatives discussing their new workout regimens, and the list goes on. What people don't talk about as often, however, are the sex toy trends they're trying out in the bedroom. (We’re all doing it, so why not talk about it, amiright?)

We asked experts from intimate boutiques CalExotics and Babeland to predict the hottest sex toy trends of 2020. Here’s what they had to say:

Discreet vibrators that are actually discreet

“There have been vibrators in the past that attempted to be camouflaged as everyday products, but weren’t fooling anyone, and they weren’t very good,” Jill McDevitt, PhD, CalExotics' resident sexologist, tells Health. “But now there are some new products on the market that are actually quality vibrators that you would enjoy using, and they really look like other objects.”

McDevitt suggests CalExotics’ Hide & Play Rechargeable Lipstick vibrator ($27; calexotics.com) and Lock-n-Play Wristband Remote Panty Teaser ($86; calexotics.com).

Suction toys

“Clitoral stimulators offer a totally different sensation than vibration, which is a game-changer when it comes to sex toys,” Lisa Finn, sex educator and brand manager at Babeland, tells Health. “The nozzle of the toy creates a sort of suction or pulsing effect with air, giving pinpoint stimulation right to the head of the clitoris to really target all of those nerve endings. They make great solo toys, but also are wonderful for partner play, or even used in foreplay to stimulate the clit and supercharge arousal.”

Want to get in on the suction trend? Finn recommends the Womanizer Deluxe ($219; babeland.com) and Satisfyer’s Pro 3 Vibration ($60; babeland.com).

All-in-one kits

“It’s not uncommon for first-time sex toy users to be very overwhelmed, not only by the sheer number of options, but even just knowing which overarching style—vaginal, G-spot, clitoral, etcetera—they should buy,” says McDevitt. “I field a lot of questions from folks looking for help making a purchasing decision, and it’s not easy because really the only way to know for sure is to try out different types and see what you like.”

Enter all-in-one kits, like CalExotics’ In Touch Passion Trio ($149; calexotics.com), which McDevitt recommends. It includes attachments for dual stimulation, G-spot, and clitoral vibrators.

CBD sex products

“CBD has properties that reportedly benefit the body through reduction of physical tension and increased relaxation—both of which can help sex be more pleasurable,” says Finn. “Many CBD products are topical, which means that they can be a great way to integrate more intimate touch into your play.”

Finn suggests Good Vibrations Toys’ Unwind CBD Body Oil ($39; babeland.com) as a massage oil to be used during foreplay and Foria’s Intimacy CBD Lubricant ($50; babeland.com) for use during sex.

Electro-stimulation toys

Electro-stimulation is trendy “but not in the BDSM way that’s been around for a while,” says McDevitt. “In the sexual health way, which before now, was really only something available from physical therapists or pelvic floor specialists.”

McDevitt explains: “There is now a whole new line of sex toys called Impulse by CalExotics, which are pleasure devices that also feature a metal pad that sends gentle electrical impulses to your brain, telling it to contract and relax the pelvic floor, giving you a Kegel workout during masturbation.”

CalExotics’ Impulse line includes products like the Intimate E-Stimulator Petite Wand ($80; calexotics.com) and the Intimate E-Stimulator Dual Wand ($110; calexotics.com).

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 17 Dec 2019 | 12:11 pm(NZT)

How to Have Seriously Hot Phone Sex, According to Experts

Truth: Phone sex just might be some of the most satisfying sex you ever have.

“You don’t have to be physically together in order to be romantically or sexually together. Phone sex unites couples in times when they’re apart,” says sex therapist Susan Block, PhD, of The Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences.

More than that, you can explore different fantasies and desires that you might feel nervous about doing in person, Block says. You don’t have to worry about physically pleasing your partner, and many women also find it easier to orgasm through masturbation compared to partner sex, she adds. Meaning you’ll probably hang up very satisfied.

And, if you need another push to try out your phone sex voice, consider that you don’t even have to change your clothes. “Phone sex favors creativity, imagination, and intelligence over physical attributes—you don’t have to worry about what you look like,” Block says.

There’s no wrong way to have phone sex—but experts do have some tips to make sure the experience is one you’ll want to make a regular part of your sex life.

Ask the most important question

Start out by asking, “Where are you right now?” This gives you an idea of whether it’s a good time (they’re in bed) or not (they’re at a work event). “It’s not necessarily erotic, but it’s an open-ended way for you to find out if you should initiate—without saying anything about phone sex,” Block says.

Make plans later

If they say that they’re hanging with family at the moment, it’s obviously not the right time. But you don’t have to abandon phone sex. “Ask them to call you later when they’re alone,” Block says.

Or, go for a sext to let them know what they’re in for later. Phone sex is far safer in that there’s no record of it. But, if you’re in a trusting, committed relationship, San Francisco-based sex therapist Diana Urman, PhD, recommends having phone sex via sexting. “Switch to a new app on your phone so it feels like you’re switching gears, which will help get you into the headspace to explore flirty or erotic language,” she says. Send a message that titillates and turns you on, not what you think they want to hear, Urman recommends.

Lead them into it

Now, let’s assume it is a good time for phone sex—they’re alone or they’re in bed—the next question you can ask is more leading: “What are you wearing?”

Enter into your sexy voice

Drop the level of your voice a bit. “Get into that slower, softer way of talking,” Block says. Focus on breathing, too. “That might not be heavy breathing, but we often hold our breath when we talk. Phone sex is not about delivering a lot of information. It’s about being and feeling. You can concentrate all of your sexiness into your voice,” she says.

Listen and respond

“Listening is almost as important as what you’re saying,” Block says. Next, respond and take the temperature of the conversation up a notch. Such as: “Oh, you’re in bed? I wish I was there with you…” Or, “You’re doing nothing? Oh, I think I can keep you busy…” “You’re naked? Maybe I should get naked too, but, you know, I’m wearing that lingerie you like so much…”

Stick to your style

You don’t have to adopt an alternate phone sex personality—you certainly can, but it’s not necessary. “How you speak to your partner can go with whatever type of sex you’ve had together,” Block says. For instance, if you usually take on a more dominant role, you can tell them to take off their pants. If you like more romance, you can steer the conversation toward more caressing language. And if you talk dirty, do it—but you don’t have to drop a ton of expletives if that’s not your thing.

Start touching yourself

When you know that things are moving forward—phone sex is happening—Block recommends touching yourself. “It doesn’t have to be your genitals. You can stroke your arms, gradually move toward your torso and breasts, then across your stomach, and then to your genitals,” she says. You can think about this as masturbation or imagine that these are your lover’s hands moving over your skin.

Take it up a notch

Phone sex can be all about reality: “I’m getting undressed…what are you doing?” But it can also be about fantasy. “If you’ve never shared a fantasy, start by sharing a memory of something you did do together that was really sexy,” Block says. For instance, you had sex in the backyard last summer. Now, you might ask your partner what they’d think if someone had been watching. Or, ask what they want to happen next time. “There are lots of ways you can take a real memory and weave it into a fantasy,” Block says.

Or, stay mum about it

Maybe you have a fantasy but you’re not ready to share it with your partner. Phone sex can be a dress rehearsal because they don’t need to know. “Let’s say you’re thinking about anal sex but you’re not sure if you actually want to do it. You can explore that area while on the phone with your lover,” Block says. Later, you can choose to tell them if you want, and it can be a way of introducing new things (or sex toys) into the bedroom.

Now, isn’t there a call you need to make?

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 13 Dec 2019 | 9:18 am(NZT)

How to Use Anal Beads, According to Experts

In the world of sex toys, there’s beginner stuff like flavored lube and bullet vibrators, and then there’s next-level gear like anal beads.

In case you’re not familiar with them or have been a little nervous to ask, anal beads are a series of shapes (usually round) that are on a long string. At the end of the string is a stopper to help you insert the beads and pull them out when you’re done.

To an outsider, anal beads might sound a little…intense. But sex experts swear they’re just another great tool to have in your bedroom arsenal.

Wait, so how (and why) are anal beads used?

Anal beads are typically used during sex to enhance your orgasm, certified sex therapist Debra Laino tells Health. “The beads are inserted slowly into the rectum and pulled out at varying speeds before or during orgasm,” she says.

Some anal beads are more rigid and can be inserted and pulled out like a dildo, Jess O’Reilly, PhD, host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast, tells Health. “But most come on a soft string and you can insert one or two at a time, remove them, and then reinsert,” she says.

There’s some variation with the way anal beads are designed, too. “Some strands leave space between each bead and others are arranged with the beads in contact with one another,” O’Reilly says. “The anal sphincter muscles will respond with each insertion and removal.”

Here’s what else you need to know about anal beads, plus how to actually use them if you’re ready to take the plunge.

1. They stimulate the erogenous zone in your anus

The whole point of using anal beads (besides sexually adventurous bragging rights) is for them to feel good. “Anal beads provide pleasure through stimulating the erogenous zone we all have in our anus,” sex therapist Rachel Needle, PsyD, co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, tells Health. “The anal beads stimulate the anal sphincter muscles when moved in and out.” Laino adds that they can be used to enhance your orgasm or just to add new sensations to the mix.

2. They’re not the same as a butt plug

Butt play 101: While they both go in your butt, a butt plug is actually different than anal beads. “A butt plug is intended to stay inside once inserted, while anal beads provide pleasure by being moved in and out,” Needle explains. Similarly to anal beads, however, butt plugs stimulate the nerves in the anus. They also stimulate the internal part of the clitoris and G-spot, which is why some women like to wear one during vaginal penetration.

3. Lube is key

Your anus doesn’t make its own lubrication, which is why “good quality lube” is a must with anal beads, O’Reilly says. “Many folks prefer silicone-based lube for anal play, but if your beads are also silicone, use a slippery water-based lube,” she advises.

4. You probably want to do more than just using the beads

While O’Reilly points out that you can technically insert the beads and go about your day, they’re usually used while you’re doing other things, like foreplay, oral sex, or penetrative sex.

5. Silicone is a good option

Silicone is safe and gentle on your body, and it’s also non-porous, so it doesn’t harbor bacteria, Laino says. (BTW, O’Reilly points out that stainless steel is also non-porous, but silicone is usually a less intimidating option for beginners.)

6. You’ll have to choose between a rigid or soft strand

It may seem like a soft strand would be better to start with, but O’Reilly says that rigid strands are actually easier to insert. “You’ll need to press each bead in with a finger if it’s a softer strand of beads,” she explains, adding that rigid strands can simply be pushed in using the stopper at the end.

7. Start out slow

“Don’t go straight to penetration,” O’Reilly advises. She recommends teasing the outside of your anus before you actually dive in. Then, take slow, deep breaths. When you do insert the beads, keep in mind that it shouldn’t hurt. “It may feel a bit strange at first since you’re used to using this area as a one-way, exit-only street, but differentiating between unusual sensations versus painful ones is of paramount importance,” O’Reilly says.

8. Do it on your own first

That way, you can figure out what does and doesn't work for you. “Play with your own butt in the shower or add a lubed finger from behind while you masturbate,” O’Reilly says. “Learn to feel your internal and external sphincters and practice squeezing and relaxing them around your lubed finger.”

9. Over-communicate when you use these with a partner

Feedback is crucial when you use these with a partner, “so your partner knows exactly what feels good in terms of depth, pressure, angle, and movements,” O’Reilly says. And, of course, if something feels off, speak up ASAP.

10. Sanitize the heck out of it afterwards

Your butt has plenty of bacteria, and yeah, that bacteria is going to get on your beads. “Sanitizing is super important because of the bacteria in the rectum. Proper cleaning is a must as it is a very easy way to transmit an STI,” Laino says. To clean them, O’Reilly recommends thoroughly washing your beads with warm water and soap after every use and allowing them to dry before you store them. If you reached for lube while you were using the beads, make sure you sanitize your lube bottle afterwards, too.

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 11 Dec 2019 | 10:10 am(NZT)

Madonna’s Daughter Lourdes Strips Down in Simulated Orgy for Art Basel Performance

Lourdes Leon was uninhibited for Desigual’s Art Basel performance.

On Friday, the 23-year-old daughter of pop legend Madonna took part in the Spanish clothing label’s artistic fashion show, which concluded with what some are calling a simulated orgy in a commentary on “love towards diversity, multiculturalism and difference.”

The performance was titled “Love Different,” and featured some of Desigual’s pieces from their 2020 collection, which all of the models, including Leon, eventually stripped out of into nude underwear and nipple pasties.

” ‘Love different’ is a performance created by the artistic direction of @carlota_guerrero to showcase the most iconic pieces of Desigual 2020,” the Barcelona-based brand wrote on Instagram.

“A representation in which the catalan artist affects the most basic and universal act of love: the kiss,” they added. “Please share in this message of love, multiculturalism and diversity.”

Alongside the note was a video of the performance, which started with each of the models walking — and some dancing — down the catwalk.

Leon was the last to reach the large platform, designed after Desigual’s first iconic logo “the Humanos,” which represents “a man and a woman naked holding hands as a symbol of equality, love and freedom.”

Upon reaching the platform, the models paired off and began intimately kissing and disrobing one another. The group ended the performance laying on top of each other.

Desigual did not immediately respond to PEOPLE’s request for comment, but in a separate Instagram post they wrote that Leon “did not want to miss” out on the performance.

“This is love different. Unveiling ‘love different’ a performance by @carlota_guerrero for #Desigual in which to show what Love Different means to us,” the label wrote.

“Artists like Lola León, @naomishimada, @alejandrasmits did not want to miss this message of love towards diversity, multiculturalism and difference,” they added.

Leon is Madonna’s oldest child and has taken after her mother with her own artistic calling. In May, the mother of six told British Vogue that she is envious of her daughter’s talent.

“[Leon] is insanely talented. I’m green with envy because she’s incredible at everything she does — she’s an incredible dancer, she’s a great actress, she plays the piano beautifully,” the Grammy winner admitted. “She’s way better than me in the talent department.”

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 11 Dec 2019 | 9:48 am(NZT)

5 Sex Positions Everyone Was Trying in 2019

Like every year, 2019 was full of new wellness trends. Self-care stole the spotlight, body hair made a comeback, screen time got called into question, and the list goes on. There's one thing, however, that's older than any fad diet or feel-good ritual: sex. And that's for good reason, too. Sex reduces stress, helps you sleep, burns calories, and of course brings you plenty of pleasure.

Still, certain sex positions stand out in some years more than others, and of the dozens we published here at Health over the last 12 months, a handful struck us as especially steamy, empowering, or just plain creative. We’ve rounded up five of the best, so you can make sure your 2019 goes out with a bang (literally).

RELATED: The Best Lazy Sex Positions

Lazy Sunday

This year was all about making time to slow down, and Lazy Sunday was exactly what everyone needed. For this position, you lie down on your sides and face each other, then scoot super close and place your leg over your partner's leg so they can penetrate you. “You both have control over some movement, but this setup reduces your partner’s ability to pound too fast,” Nicole Prause, PhD, research scientist at Liberos, previously told Health.

Two lazy dogs

Another position that's all about unwinding in slow-mo: This doggy-style variation has you lying flat on your stomach, with your partner spread out against your back on top of you. “They can keep their arms extended in a push-up position or rest on their elbows, whichever is most comfortable,” Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy emporium Babeland, previously told Health. You can zone out and let your partner take charge of the speed, or you can give them a break and move your hips in circles while they stay still.

Woman on top plank

2019 was the year of female empowerment, and this move brings that energy to the bedroom. “Instead of the usual woman on top position that has you straddling your partner with your knees mostly bent, distribute your weight evenly on your forearms with your knees bent at a 45- to 90-degree angle resting on the bed between your partner’s hips and chest,” Jacqui Olliver, psychosexual relationship specialist at End the Problem, previously told Health. This should allow you to maintain a steady rhythm, moving in and out and up and down, without getting too tired and missing out on some serious orgasmic action.

Up and over

Spooning never goes out of style, but when it starts to feel too same-old, this tiny tweak can make a huge difference. While your partner is in the big spoon position, throw your upper leg back over their legs. “That will change the angle of penetration and make room for more rubbing and grinding with hands and toys,” Toronto-based Jess O’Reilly, PhD, Astroglide’s resident sexologist, previously told Health. Plus, your leg will sort of enclose theirs, cutting down on their range of motion so their thrusts become shorter and faster.

Countertop me

Taking it out of the bedroom was a big sex position trend this year, and so was deep penetration. This position hits the spot for both. Sit on either the kitchen island or a table with your legs dangling over the edge. Your partner should face you and stand between your legs, grabbing your hips and sliding inside of you. “You can lean back, but keep your legs wide open to give your partner deep access,” Mackenzie Riel, sex expert with sex toy online store TooTimid, previously told Health. Or lean so far back you can prop yourself up on your elbows and enjoy the view...and how amazing it feels.

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 10 Dec 2019 | 12:02 pm(NZT)

How to Use Sex Toys So You Feel the Most Pleasure

Did you know that sex toys have been around for about 30,000 years? In her book Buzz: A Stimulating History of the Sex Toy, author Hallie Lieberman reveals that “our ancestors had been hunched over carving eight-inch-long penises out of siltstone.” Luckily, sex toys have evolved quite a bit since then—and so have attitudes towards them.

Sex toys have been more or less taboo until the last few decades, but today, they’re more acceptable than ever. This can be put down to several factors, clinical psychologist and sex expert Carla Manly, PhD, tells Health. “Society has a more open attitude toward sexuality as a whole, which has helped to destigmatize their use,” she says. “As sexual awareness increases, we are creating a more open, natural attitude toward formerly secret or off-limits sexual practices––including the use of innovative sexual toys. Plus, there’s an ever-increasing availability of sex toys online and in local stores.”

The surge in popularity of sex toys is partly due to women being more vocal about their desire––and need––for pleasure, Tiffany Alyse Yelverton, sex coach and founder of sex education site EnticeMe, tells Health. “Sex toys enhance pleasure and greatly amplify foreplay, which is necessary for most women to enjoy intercourse,” she says. “Most women need to have clitoral stimulation to orgasm, especially during penetrative sex.”

In her work as a sex coach, Yelverton finds that men are more open to using sex toys with a partner than in the past—especially young men. “The newer generations of sex toys are beautiful and not phallic,” she explains. “They are a complement to sexual activity, not in competition to it.”

If you’ve never used sex toys before––or have had a quick look at an online store and are intimidated by all the options, Yelverton has some tips. First of all, she encourages her clients to “think of sex toys as an accessory to their sex lives, like a necklace is an accessory to an outfit.”

She recommends starting with something that’s attractive to you and feels comfortable, and she suggests a vibrating "bullet" or "egg," a wand, a rabbit style vibrator, or a vibrating penis ring. And don’t forget a high quality lube (“it makes everything better”) and toy cleaner (for obvious reasons).

Also, if you're curious about vibrating sex toys, Yelverton advises to opt for a rechargeable model. “The vibrations are stronger, and there’s no extra cost (or waste) associated with batteries,” she explains.

Rabbit vibrator

A rabbit-style vibrator is a great way for a woman to achieve orgasm with a partner, says Yelverton. “It provides external clitoral stimulation along with internal vibrations.” But it’s not only for solo pleasure. “We don’t typically don’t think of rabbit toys to use with a partner, but this type of toy is perfect,” she says. “When a woman can be brought to orgasm before intercourse, it’s easier for her to orgasm a second time, so using a toy that will pretty much guarantee an orgasm, like a rabbit, is a great option.”

Bullet vibrator

You can’t go wrong with a bullet vibe as a first vibrator. It’s small, discreet, quiet, and inexpensive, yet really powerful. Primarily used for clitoral stimulation—but as with all sex toys, you’re really only limited by your imagination—it may have various speed and pattern settings, depending on the model you choose.

“A bullet vibe can be really helpful to hold against the clitoris during intercourse for additional stimulation, and it can easily be placed between two bodies during sex,” says Yelverton. Plus, it’s not phallic or threatening to men, she adds.

Wand vibrator

A wand can be intimidating to sex toy novices—it’s usually much larger than a regular vibrator and a bullet vibe. But if you’re ready to move on to something bigger and more powerful, its enlarged head and long body (its design actually evolved from neck massagers designed to ease achy muscles) can take things up a notch.

“A wand can be used in multiple ways with a variety of body types, and is a good all-round product to own,” says Yelverton.

Vibrating penis ring

The penis ring, also known as a vibrating cock ring, is the most highly recommended sex toy for couples, says sex toy site Lovehoney––for a number of reasons. First of all, it helps to restrict blood flow to the penis for harder erections, can delay ejaculation, and is really simple to use. Yelverton points out that it’s a good investment, as it can give pleasure to two people at the same time, and can also be used at the same time as another toy for even more sex toy pleasure.

Dildo

No sex toy roundup is complete without the good old-fashioned dildo. Americans certainly enjoy this particular toy. According to The Sex Toy Census 2017 from Lovehoney, shoppers in the US are more likely to buy a realistic dildo than consumers in the UK, Australia, or Germany.

In fact, sex toy shoppers from all over the world still can’t get enough of the dildo, which unlike a vibrator does not actually vibrate or have a motor and instead is operated by hand (the user's own or a partner's hand). Some dildos are smooth and cylinder-shaped, while others are designed to look like a real penis. “Some women like a realistic dildo because it looks and feels more like the a penis, and so it isn’t like using an inanimate object,” says Yelverton. “I find that men are not so receptive, as they may see the dildo as a competition.”

Ultimately, like all sex toys, it comes down to individual preference. Enjoy figuring out what works for you—that’s part of the fun.

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 6 Dec 2019 | 10:02 am(NZT)

The Rabbit Vibrator That Promises ‘Double Orgasms’ Is on Sale for Cyber Monday

No conversation about rabbit vibrators is complete without mention of that one Sex and the City episode. It goes like this: Charlotte buys a sex toy, and in a very un-Charlotte fashion, she’s instantly taken with the multi-pronged device. (“Oh, it’s so cute! I thought it would be scary and weird, but it isn’t. It’s pink! For girls!”) She becomes obsessed with the toy and begins cancelling plans to spend quality time with her newfound friend. The effect of the Rabbit was so great, in fact, that the girls stage an intervention.

Lelo’s Soraya 2 rabbit vibrator is like that, only better. The rabbit design features an insertable silicone wand specially designed to reach your G-spot and an external stimulator that aligns with your clitoris. But unlike the rabbit vibrators of yore, this high-tech device is more than just a vibrating bit of rubber.

Through the use of ultrasounding in the engineering stage of development, Lelo created the exact optimal shape and curve of the Soraya 2’s larger prong to best target the G-spot in as many women as possible. Its clitoral stimulator was designed to be fully flexible so that it adapts to every body. The result? Dual stimulation — and the potential for a double orgasm.

This science-driven sex toy usually retails for $219, but at Lelo’s Cyber Monday sale (live for 14 more hours), you can get it for $165. Bear in mind that Lelo has limited stock on its Cyber Monday sale-eligible items, so this might sell out faster than usual. Shop the double-orgasm-giving vibrator for $165 while supplies last.

Shop now: $165 (Originally $219); lelo.com

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 3 Dec 2019 | 10:51 am(NZT)

The Best Vibrating Panties—and Why This Sex Toy Is Better Than a Regular Vibrator

What’s better than a vibrator? A hands-free vibrator—and that’s where vibrating panties come in.

While this sex toy comes in different styles (from panties with a pocket for a bullet vibrator to vibrators that clip into your underwear of choice), they all have the same general purpose, which is to stimulate you while your hands are busy doing other things.

“They’re a great way to inject some novelty and excitement into your solo or partnered sex routine,” Jess "Dr. Jess" O’Reilly, PhD, We-Vibe sex expert and sexologist, tells Health.

Intrigued? Below, sex educators share why adding vibrating panties to your sex toy stash can make your sex life hotter and better, plus four types to buy.

How vibrating panties can spice up your sex life

Why exactly can wearing vibrating panties be so hot? First, vibrators in general can bring you a whole lot of pleasure. According to Dr. Jess, most women are more likely to experience an orgasm when they use a vibrator. A vibrator is able to move at a more consistent speed and pattern than a hand or penis. Plus, vibrators tend to focus on stimulating the clitoris, which is necessary for many women to have an orgasm.

There’s more to panty vibrators than that. "They allow you to discreetly wear and take your play and pleasure wherever you want to go,” says Dr. Jess. That may mean from room to room within your own house or apartment. But thanks to remote control or a Bluetooth connecting app, most vibrating panties can be used outside your home for public play, allowing you or a partner to fiddle with the vibration intensity and speed without having to go into your underwear.

“Wearing a pair of vibrating panties while grocery shopping, for instance, can be great for solo fun,” Gigi Engle, certified sex coach, tells Health. You can pretend you’re scrolling Instagram or getting something from your purse—when really you’re turning up the speed on your vibrator. “It's very empowering to own your sexuality in such a taboo way like that,” she says.

Because you can use them publicly, Engle explains, “they can satisfy our inner voyeur and inner exhibitionist.” While exhibitionism and voyeurism can be tricky fantasies to bring to life (public sex is illegal, and consent is required if you’re watching someone have sex or having sex in front of them), panty vibrators make it more discreet. “You might wear a panty vibrator to your favorite restaurant so you can get off and your partner can watch you get off from under the table, completely hands-free,” says Engle.

Another benefit: Using a panty vibrator that has a remote control allows you to dip your toe into the world of kinky sex. Says Engle: “You’re literally handing over control to your partner, which definitely is not vanilla.”

The best vibrating panties and wearable vibrators

Ready to try vibrating panties, or a wearable vibrator designed to tuck into your own panties? In the last few years, these sex toys have gotten a serious upgrade, probably due to advanced technology and also their appearance in Fifty Shades of Grey, which sparked a huge demand. Below, four models that sex educators recommended.

Calexotics Lock N Play

Make your sexiest pair of underwear even more fiery with CalExotics Lock N Play clip-in panty vibrator. Thanks to magnetic wings that keep it in place, the vibrator will stay put, providing clitoral stimulation even when it's operated at its most intense setting (it has 12 total). It comes with a remote control that works up to 32 feet away, so you partner can drive you wild from the living room, kitchen, car....you get the picture. ($35; amazon)

We-Vibe Moxie

The We-Vibe Moxie isn't a panty itself, but it's contoured for your vulva and can clip into any pair of underwear you already own with a slim, slip-proof magnet. You or your partner can use the We-Vibe app to control it, which makes it optimal for public play. And because your partner can control the vibrator from literally anywhere, it’s a good option for long-distance couples, says Dr. Jess. ($122.55; amazon)

CalExotics Lover Ride

“CalExotics Lover Ride is a great pick for someone looking for extra dirty, naughty fun,” says Engle. Why? Because unlike most vibrating panties, this pair features an attachable internal vibrator. With a slightly bulbous tip, the 3.5 inch attachment is perfect for G-spot stimulation on the go. ($20.34, amazon)

OhMiBod Club Vibe 3

While a vibrator with a simple vibrating pattern might be ideal for sex toy newbies, a model like the OhMiBod Club Vibe 3, which can bump and buzz along to the rhythm of the music playing at a club or your bedroom, is a lot of fun. Made of velvety silicone and with a slim fit, it’s perfect to tuck into your own regular panties before a party. ($119; amazon)

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 28 Nov 2019 | 12:04 pm(NZT)

Amazon’s Best-Selling Rabbit Vibrator Is So Good, Reviewers Say It’ll Leave Your Legs Feeling ‘Like Jello’

If you've ever browsed through Amazon’s endless marketplace, you’ve probably found the perfect pair of affordable leggings, a celebrity-approved yoga mat, and maybe even your new favorite kitchen tool. But we’re here to inform you that Amazon is also a goldmine when it comes to your more, ahem, discreet purchases.

Amazon is the perfect place for crowdsourcing sex toys (thanks to hyper-enthusiastic customer reviews), not to mention, finding out if a toy will let you down—or surpass your wildest dreams. In fact, these adventurous and outspoken shoppers are the *only* reason we discovered the number one best-selling Paloqueth G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator (Buy It, $26, ~~$35~~, amazon.com).

The budget-friendly vibrator takes first place on Amazon’s list of best-selling rabbit vibrators thanks to a collection of effervescent reviews that prove this sex toy is pretty damn special. At least 2,100 people have been so satisfied with the vibrator that they’ve left it a perfect five-star rating.

Of course, satisfying thousands of people takes work—and that’s exactly what this rabbit vibrator puts in. While the shape might look intimidating, it’s actually designed to help you reach a blended orgasm, i.e. an orgasm but better. The bunny ear end of the toy vibrates on your clitoris as the dildo-shaped end stimulates your G-spot to give you both internal and external pleasure.

G Spot Rabbit Vibrator
AMAZON

Paloqueth G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator (Buy It, $26, ~~$35~~, amazon.com)

Unlike more rigid vibrators, this best-seller is super flexible and can easily be manipulated to work with your body to hit different pleasure points. It also has a velvety smooth silicone exterior that makes cleanup a breeze. Plus, these two design features work together to make the vibrator feel “more realistic,” according to reviewers.

Solo adventurers and partners alike will love jumping between the nine different vibrations to find the perfect level of sensation. There’s even a built-in indicator light on the mode button to help you move more efficiently through intensities—especially if you prefer to get down in the dark. And the fully-waterproof design makes it easy to use in any scenario.

While many reviewers climaxed within seconds the first time they used the vibrator, you can also take your time and enjoy a drawn-out, toe-curling session without fear of it dying on you. When fully charged, the rabbit vibrator can last up to three hours—and takes just two hours to get a total reboot.

Best of all, you can count on the vibrator to be completely discreet. Not only will it arrive in a plain box, but it’s also “whisper quiet.” That means you can enjoy solo time without worrying about your roommates or neighbors listening in.

Still not ready to give it a go? We compiled some of the most convincing reviews to inspire your next very personal purchase on Amazon.

“I just got it in today and to make a long story short- four times in a row for a first timer?! Do I need to say more? NOPE,” wrote one five-star reviewer. “Of course, there [are] many options to choose from as far as vibrations, and I only tried the first two. I don’t exactly know which spot I hit but for it to happen that quick and that frequent... Wow.. My legs still feel like jello.”

Another confirmed: “I don’t normally write reviews. Actually this is my first one ever. It arrived today and I couldn’t wait to try it out, and now I just want to scream it from the mountain tops that this was HANDS down the best series of orgasms I’ve ever had in my life. This gave me three orgasms before I could even blink, then threw me for a roller coaster of waves that left me covered in sweat. Sorry not sorry about being explicit because, HOT DAMN ladies, seriously. Do yourselves a favor and purchase this puppy, you won’t regret it.”

With winter just around the corner (and plenty of time trapped indoors) this is one item you'll want to add to your shopping cart. Luckily, you can snag this top-rated vibrator on sale right now for just $26. We don’t know if this sale will last—but then again, neither will you.

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This article originally appeared on Shape.com

Source: Sex - Health.com | 22 Nov 2019 | 10:34 am(NZT)

Suzanne Somers Takes 'Sex Shot' PT-141 To Get it On Twice a Day—But Is That Safe?

Suzanne Somers just revealed that she and her husband have sex twice a day—and they have a specific “sex shot” to thank.

In a new interview with the Daily Mail, Somers, 73, confessed that she and her husband, Alan Hamel, 83, engage in intercourse twice a day. "I'm kind of in that groove, like when you were younger and you're in the mood all the time," she said. The source? A “sexy stimulant that works on your brain,” called PT-141.

According to Somers, who’s currently also on bioidentical hormones (aka, hormones made from plants) along with her husband, she decided to add weekly shots of PT-141, a “melanocortin-based peptide” after learning about “sexual benefits” related to the shots.

“I thought, ‘Wow, what a great thing,” Somers said, comparing the shot to Viagra. “This is actually a shot for both men and women that’s not a drug. It just stimulates that part of your brain that says, ‘Hey, I’m kind of in the mood.’ And, so, isn’t that a wonderful thing? And it’s not a drug, so I love it.’”

While the shots definitely keep her aroused, she admits that she struggles to stay awake during both rounds of intercourse. “I usually say I sleep through one of them. That’s usually that one at 4 o’clock in the morning,” she joked. “But, you know, then again around 8 o’clock in the morning, I’m in the mood.”

Wait, what are these PT-141 shots?

According to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), PT-141, which sold under the branded name Vyleesi and the generic bremelanotide, was approved to treat hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) in premenopausal women in June 2019.

According to a press release from the FDA, those with HSDD are “women who, for no known reason, have reduced sexual desire that causes marked distress.” The American Sexual Health Association goes on to define HSDD as “the absence of sexual fantasies and thoughts, and/or desire for or receptivity to, sexual activity that causes personal distress or difficulties in her relationship.”

Somers, however, is post-menopausal, and her husband is a male, so neither fall into the FDA-approved audience for the drug. One small 2006 study in the Annals of The New York Academy of Sciences, however, found that the drug could also hold promise as a treatment for erectile dysfunction.

While, according to the FDA’s press release, the exact mechanism of PT-141 or Vyleesi is unknown, the injections are taken under the skin of the abdomen or thigh 45 minutes before sexual activity. The injections are only recommended for use once every 24 hours and no more than eight per month.

But, while the shots can be helpful in increasing sexual desire—25% of women who took Vyleesi saw an increase in sexual desire, versus 17% of women who took placebo, per the FDA—the medication can come with side effects, including nausea, vomiting, and headaches. Additionally, per the FDA, the shot is not recommended for those with cardiovascular disease or high blood pressure, as the trials found that it temporarily increases blood pressure.

Overall, if PT-141 or Vyleesi sounds interesting to you, you should definitely take it up with your doctor—and also temper your expectations (i.e., don’t expect a sex-twice-a-day schedule like Somers), since medications can affect everyone differently.

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 31 Oct 2019 | 9:29 am(NZT)

FYI: Just Because You Had an Orgasm Doesn't Mean the Sex Was Good

Bad sex you're probably (sorry to say) familiar with. You know the kind, when you're too tired or stressed, or you're not 100% physically attracted to the person in your bed.

But now, researchers have identified what they're calling "bad" orgasms. In a new study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, they've come up with a description of what a bad orgasm entails, plus some of the reasons people experience them.

So what qualifies as a bad orgasm? These are big Os that are not enjoyable, perhaps even unpleasant, and can have “negative impacts on relationships, sexuality, and/or psychological health” per the study, which focused on data collected from 726 participants.

As for the reasons for bad orgasms, let’s first make this clear: We’re talking about orgasms that occur during consensual sex. The authors of the new report did look at what happens when a person has an orgasm during coerced sex, but we’re focusing on the reasons for not enjoying climax during consensual sex.

That said, one reason the study authors cited is having sex out of avoidance. For example, you don’t want to fight about not having sex—so you agree to do it, but the O that follows doesn't make you feel good because you weren't really into doing it in the first place.

Another reason: you feel obligated to orgasm. “Research has shown that feeling pressured to orgasm can also elicit stress and/or other negative affect,” researchers wrote. “For example, women and men have often stated that they feel obligated to orgasm during consensual sexual activities to ensure that sex feels fair and equal between partners.” In other words, when the pressure is on to cross that finish line, the end result might not make you feel all that positive.

Other reasons for bad orgasms include health issues that interfere with sexual pleasure. One participant told the researchers: “[The orgasm was] less pleasurable. It felt like the physiology of an orgasm without the emotional/spiritual component. It was also painful, like I didn’t have any adrenaline to buffer the physical sensation.”

Sometimes an O is bad because the sex didn't involve a mental connection. “Orgasm was the natural ending [to a sexual encounter] so the faster I could get there the sooner it could be over," one participant told study authors. "[But the orgasm] was not as pleasurable because I wasn’t mentally engaged in the encounter.”

The bottom line here is that a lot of factors influence whether or not an orgasm is “good,” and just because you or your partner have an orgasm doesn’t mean you, or they, actually enjoyed it.

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 23 Oct 2019 | 10:43 am(NZT)

Tracy’s Dog Clitoral Sucking Vibrator Is Amazon’s Most Wished For Vibrator

If 1,728 people told you they discovered the perfect vibrator, there’s no doubt it would peak your interest. In fact, you’d probably even add it to your wishlist.

Well, that’s exactly what Amazon shoppers did after discovering this Clitoral Sucking Vibrator ($47, was $64; amazon.com) from sex toy brand Tracy’s Dog. So many people wanted to give this sex toy a go that it quickly took the number one spot on Amazon’s ‘Most Wished For’ list for sexual wellness products. Updated daily, the list keeps track of products that are most often added to both wishlists and registries by Amazon shoppers.

If you’re wondering why so many people are *lusting* after this vibrator, we’ll break it down. You may have seen the highly-detailed (and entertaining) Amazon review that went viral on social media earlier this summer—and believe it or not, this is the vibrator from said review. The u-shaped device offers two options for stimulation: vibrations or gentle suctioning. Unfortunately, you can’t use both ends at once—but that didn’t prevent over 1,800 users from reaching the big ‘O' with this handy little tool.

If you want to simulate oral sex, opt for the suction end, which can be applied directly to your clitoris. In the same session, you can easily switch over to the vibrating mode to stimulate your clitoris in a new way, or insert it vaginally to reach your G-spot. Regardless of your preferred side, you’ll have 10 different modes to choose from that vary in both intensity and frequency.

To buy: Tracy's Dog Clitoral Sucking Vibrator, $47 (was $64); amazon.com

If you’re looking for a marathon rather than a sprint, you’ll also love that the powerful battery can run for 60 minutes straight (and a full battery recharge takes just 1.5 hours)—though plenty of reviewers mentioned it only took a few minutes to reach their (ahem) final destination. Plus, the fully silicone vibrator is completely waterproof—so the fun doesn’t have to stay in the bedroom.

Best of all, if you want to keep your personal time, well, personal, the box arrives in super discreet plain packaging. All things considered, it’s no surprise that this dual action vibrator is Amazon’s number one best-selling clitoral vibrator.

Still not convinced? We went ahead and compiled some of our favorite rave reviews that make it clear why you should be adding this pick to your cart ASAP.

“It wasn’t very quiet,” wrote one five-star reviewer. “But neither was I. It should be illegal how damn good this thing works. This [is] the type of feeling that RnB sounds like. The only thing that would make this better is if it could cuddle me after. This vibrator fixed my credit and cleared my acne. I start my mornings at 7 a.m. now. I volunteer on the weekends. If everybody could feel this feeling, I'm almost certain there would be world peace. 10/10 would recommend.”

Another confirmed: “I’m really not one for buying sex toys often; I have a few old faithfuls and that’s really it. I saw the reviews posted for this vibrator and said, why not? Let me tell you, those reviews were spot on. I think I left my body when I came. It actually felt like someone was going down on me but in reality I was laying on my bed solo, watching Netflix with chips next to me. Honestly, I think I’m going to text the guy I hook up with and say adiós, Brandon, your services are no longer required.”

Even better, the affordable price point makes this clitoral sucking vibrator a great option for anyone who wants to spice up their sex life without spending a ton—the 2-in-1 toy normally goes for $64, but it’s currently on sale for just $47. Now you just have to plan out your alone time to enjoy your new purchase—but with Amazon's free two-day shipping for Prime members (or anyone who signs up for a free trial), you won’t have to wait too long.

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 22 Oct 2019 | 1:05 pm(NZT)

These Are the 4 Most Common Reasons People Fake Orgasms

You always bring your partner to a bells-and-whistles orgasm; you're sure of it. But when it's your turn, and you know they won't be able to get you there, what do you do? Tell them it's just not going to happen—or fake it?

Fake it, most people would apparently say. A new survey by sex education site Kinkly found that about 80% of people have faked an orgasm at least once in their life. The survey, which received more than 1,200 responses, asked people not only how often they fake it, but why.

The results showed that 87% of women have faked an orgasm at some point, compared to 69% of men. Women also regularly pretend to climax about 37% of the time, while men pretend only 9% of the time. (Women also reach orgasm less often than men, the survey found, with female respondents saying they reach orgasm 70% of the time and men saying they orgasm 86% of the time.)

If you're thinking psh, no one has ever faked an orgasm with me, you may want to think again. About 74% of participants said they believed their partner couldn't tell they faked it.

That leaves us with one question: Why do people fake it? The most common responses: "I didn't want my partner to feel bad," "I wanted the sexual encounter to end," "I wanted to make my partner feel good," and "I was sexually satisfied, but did it because I felt it was 'expected' to end the encounter."

About that last reason, the survey also found that 62% of people feel that sex is supposed to end in climax for both participants. The folks at Kinkly want to change this kind of thinking. "Sexual encounters are about experiencing pleasure," the survey results stated. "Orgasms are not a sign of a 'successful' sexual encounter!"

It's a good point. Sex doesn't have to be all about the orgasm; everything that happens before that point can be just as satisfying. If that became an accepted norm, maybe people wouldn't feel the need to fake it as much.

Or perhaps the fakers of the wold should 'fess up to having faux orgasms and show their partners the moves that will really make them climax—and faking it would be a thing of the past.

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 9 Oct 2019 | 8:56 am(NZT)

What to Know About Sexsomnia, a Rare Sleep Disorder Where You Have Sex in Your Sleep

It happens at least three times a week: I wake up to find myself masturbating, breathing heavily, and on the brink of an orgasm. I always finish myself off (sorry, TMI) and then fall right back asleep afterward.

Sounds great, right? Not really. These frequent episodes are the main symptom of sexsomnia—a rare sleep disorder that causes people to have sex or masturbate in their sleep. Though I haven't been clinically diagnosed with sexsomnia, I've been experiencing episodes like this for as long as I can remember. In the last few years, though, they've happened more regularly.

Along with the physical irritation caused by rubbing my clitoris beneath my sweatpants so often, sexsomnia has brought me emotional frustration, too. That’s because I have no control over this behavior, or even awareness of what I'm doing until it's just about over. Though I've never tried to have sleep sex with a partner, I'm still cringing at the memory of sleeping over a friend's house five years ago and finding out that I woke the entire family with my loud moaning.

Sexsomnia falls under the umbrella category of parasomnias, which are any disruptive, abnormal, and habitual activities that occur between and during stages of deep sleep. Other parasomnias include sleepwalking, night terrors, and sleep eating—except you’re getting way freakier than just spooning ice cream into your mouth in your slippers at two in the morning.

What causes sexsomnia, and who gets it? Can my fellow sexsomniacs and I be cured? I spoke with psychiatrists and sleep specialists to get to the bottom of this rare yet real disorder.

Sexsomnia symptoms and triggers

Sexsomnia is a lot more than the occasional sexy dream or hazy morning bumping and grinding. People who have the disorder will experience regular instances of moaning, pelvic thrusting, and masturbating or initiating sexual intercourse with the person lying beside them, all while they're snoozing away.

Men are more likely to have sexsomnia than women, according to a 2017 study published in the journal Sleep. Another study, published in Current Opinion in Pulmonary Medicine in 2016, found that male sexsomniacs are more likely to try to have sexual intercourse with a partner, while women with sexsomnia tend to masturbate, as I do.

The 2016 study confirms that these behaviors are amnesic, meaning they happen in a confused, partially awake state and likely won’t be remembered once the person has fully woken up. (Unlike my experience, where I wake up aware of what's going on.) It also suggests that sexsomnia may occur along with other parasomnias.

What triggers sexsomnia? Basically anything that disrupts a normal, healthy sleep pattern—such as drinking alcohol or consuming caffeine too close to bedtime. Maintaining an irregular sleep schedule or not getting enough sleep can led to sexsomnia as well, Alex Dimitriu, MD, who is double board-certified in psychiatry and sleep medicine and the founder of Menlo Park Psychiatry and Sleep Medicine in New Jersey, tells Health. Less commonly, sleep apnea, seizures, or a condition called REM behavior disorder can also contribute, he explains.

Depression, anxiety, and a lack of sexual activity may also affect how frequent sexsomnia episodes occur. In my case, I’m an anxious person in general, but I’ve certainly noticed that I wake up touching myself more often when I'm in the middle of a sexual dry spell.

Gail Saltz, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital, Weill-Cornell Medical College, tells me that sleep disorders like sexsomnia are made worse by certain medications, including many psychiatric medications. Being highly stressed can be a factor as well, says Dr. Saltz, who adds that it tends to run in families.

How sexsomnia has affected me

As troubling as sexsomnia can be, I'm lucky because my symptoms seem to bother me more than they bother anyone else.

None of my partners have ever brought it up to me, which is a good sign—unless they were too uncomfortable to mention that something happened. To see if that was the case, I recently asked an ex if he noticed that I did anything “weird” in my sleep, adding, "like... sexually” to help jog his memory. “No, but I do remember you waking up really horny,” he replied. That’s not sexsomnia, though, since I was awake and in the mood.

Last summer, I went on a 16-day road trip with my best friend. We shared a bed that whole time, and I caught myself having an episode one night but immediately stopped as soon as I could snap out of it, thankfully. This November, I'm taking a vacation to Aruba with my family, and needless to say, I’m definitely fearful of what might happen, since we'll be sharing close quarters.

As you could imagine, sexsomnia is more problematic when you’re in a long-term relationship and share a bed with that person every night. In my case, I haven't been in enough serious relationships where the disorder might affect someone other than myself, which is when I'd finally seek treatment. Dr. Saltz recommends seeking help “if sexsomnia becomes a real problem, such as your partner is disturbed by it, you are doing things that you or your partner do not want, or there is any danger.”

Are sexsomniacs cursed for life?

Speaking of treatment, there's no magic cure for sexsomnia, unfortunately. But there are steps you can take to make it happen less frequently or even halt it completely.

People who sleep alongside sexsomniacs can often stop the episodes by either pushing their partner away or not responding to them. As for sexsomniacs themselves, they can aim to get better quality sleep, reduce their stress levels, decrease nighttime drug and alcohol consumption, and have more (conscious) sex.

Prescription meds are also an option. “Paroxetine is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor that can increase deep sleep, reduce nighttime erections, and reduce the frequency of nighttime awakenings, so it may be helpful for sexsomnia," Martin Reed, a certified clinical sleep health educator and founder of the online sleep help site Insomnia Coach, tells me. "Clonazepam is another drug typically used to treat parasomnias."

Dr. Dimitriu says that treatment should begin with optimizing and eliminating the triggers. If the behavior continues, then a discussion with your doctor and a consultation with a sleep specialist would be the next step.

Dr. Saltz warns, however, that people shouldn’t read into sexsomnia and give it too much meaning. “These behaviors are more about primitive human behavior due to random brain stimulation than something personally about you,” she says. After all, sex is one of our strongest biological drives as mammals. Deciding whether to treat sexsomnia seems to boil down to if these instincts are problematic for those who have it and the people they sleep next to at night.

Since I'm not sharing a bed with anyone right now, I'm keeping these tips in mind for the future. For now, I'm going to start masturbating before I fall asleep—so I'm getting the sexual release that will hopefully put my sexsomnia to bed once and for all.

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 20 Aug 2019 | 10:07 am(NZT)

Women Reveal the Real Reasons They Text Naked Photos of Themselves

Sexting naked or suggestive photos to a partner is pretty common these days. But why people sext explicit pics isn't always discussed. Of course, the obvious reason is to heat things up when you're not physically in the same place as your partner. But as one researcher discovered, the exact motives are surprisingly complex.

Morgan Johnstonbaugh, a PhD candidate in the school of sociology at the University of Arizona, decided to do a study looking into what motivated young adults to sext images. She surveyed 1,918 college students during the 2018-2019 academic year and asked them questions about their sexting habits.

The students were asked to describe the last time they sent a nude or semi-nude photograph of themselves to another person electronically. About 56% said they had sent one in the past. Of those who reported sending a photo, 73% were women.

The students were then asked why they shared that most recent sext. They were presented with a list of 23 possible reasons and told to check as many or as few as they wanted.

After Johnstonbaugh crunched the numbers, it turned out that the female students were four times more likely than their male counterparts to send explicit images of themselves in order to prevent the recipient from losing sexual interest in them.

At the same time, women were four times more likely than men to say that they sent images as a way to feel empowered, and they were twice as likely to say that sexting boosted their confidence.

Interestingly, it wasn't uncommon for the female students in the study to select both empowering and disempowering reasons for sexting, showing the two aren't mutually exclusive.

"These interactions can be much more complex than people realize," Johnstonbaugh tells Health. "When you're thinking about sharing a photo with someone, you might have competing ideas influencing your behavior." For example, you may be doing it to excite a partner or influence their reaction in another way, but you might also be doing it to express your sexuality for your own benefit.

Johnstonbaugh presented her not-yet-published study at the American Sociological Association Annual Meeting in New York City last week. She hopes her research will spark discussion around sexting and help people, especially the parents of young adults, to see that it's a complex activity and shouldn't be dismissed.

"A lot of parents just don't want to think about that, or they tell their children, 'Never do that,'" Johnstonbaugh says. "In reality, kind of like sex education, we should be having conversations about what young people do with their intimate partners and what the consequences could be."

The results of her study might also help you think more about your own motives for hitting send on those explicit pics, and realize that just like sex IRL, sex via digital device isn't so one-dimensional.

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 14 Aug 2019 | 9:45 am(NZT)

The Number One Thing Women Hate the Most About Sex

Sex is one of life's deepest pleasures. But as much as most people love a good romp between the sheets, let's be honest: There are things we really dislike about it, too.

With this in mind, the sex toy company Lovehoney decided to survey 3,000 adults about what they hate the most in the bedroom. The responses could feel eerily familiar...or they might truly surprise you.

The most common thing women hate about getting it on? Feeling self-conscious during the deed, with 30% of respondents giving this answer. Men, on the other hand, said their top sex dislike is when it's over too quickly, with 34% checking this box.

Women disliked sex that ends too quickly as well, with 29% going with this answer. Other things women disliked include not having an orgasm (28%), interruptions (27%), and not getting enough foreplay (24%).

The guys sex-hate list included factors like not bringing their partner to orgasm (30%), interruptions (28%), not having an orgasm (21%), and catching an STI (17%). (Um, we're going to go out on a limb here and say that 17% speaks for the whole group...catching an STI is never a desirable part of sex.)

Interestingly, the top sex dislike women had doesn't even make the list of the things guys hate. The survey didn't look into why that is, but this self-consciousness women called out could be due to a host of factors—such as obsessing over how they look during the action or feeling pressure to reach orgasm via penetration (which most women do not do during straight-up penis-in-vagina sex).

If self-consciousness is the biggest sex downside for you, try to avoid it by focusing only on how you feel in bed...not how you look or what's going to happen in the next 10 minutes. Just stay in the moment and revel in how good your partner is making you feel, and that self-awareness will dissapate without you realizing it.

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 24 Jul 2019 | 7:58 am(NZT)

What Is Edging? A Sex Expert Explains

So you two are rocking the bed, and you're working up to what promises to be an explosive orgasm. But then the phone rings. Or your baby starts crying. Or the dog barks like crazy at who knows what. Just like that, the O that was so close has suddenly been put on pause.

Well, "edging" is kind of like that—except you dial back your orgasm by choice, over and over.

Edging is a sexual practice that delays your O and prolongs the time until climax, Rachel Needle, PsyD, a Florida-based psychologist and sex therapist, tells Health. The point is to get super aroused so you're at the edge of orgasm, bring things back to a slow boil, then turn up the heat again...until you hit a point where you can't help but succumb to all the crazy-hot sensations.

How edging can help your sex life

Okay, so what exactly do you achieve by edging? “For some, delaying orgasm makes the orgasm more intense and enjoyable,” Needle explains. “And for some, it [also] increases their desire for orgasm.”

But there's more to it than that. For starters, it helps you and your partner become more familiar with your sexual triggers. Experimenting with different touches and positions gives you a better handle on the moves you respond to. Getting acquainted with your sexual side is always a good thing.

Edging can also improve communication between two partners. Before you get started, you have to give each other a heads up that you want to do it. Then during the action, you need to let the other person know how close you are either verbally or by using body language. The more couples communicate, the better the action is.

Another benefit: Edging can bring some levity to the bedroom, so sex is not so serious and heavy. Edging is really just another way to engage in playful teasing, and that kind of vibe can make things a lot more fun.

Finally, it takes the focus off orgasm as the ultimate goal of a sexual encounter. “Sex doesn’t need to be linear or goal-oriented," Jessica O'Reilly, PhD, Toronto-based sexologist and host of the podcast Sex With Dr. Jess, tells Health. "You don’t have to get turned on and allow arousal to build in a constant state of ascension." If you sometimes feel too anxious or stressed to cross the finish line, edging takes the pressure off, since the point is to delay orgasm.

How to get started with edging

Edging can be done on your own, during masturbation, or with a partner. You can use your bodies or tease yourselves with sex toys, says O'Reilly. It's up to you how you get to the brink of pleasure, but there are some specific ways you can hit the pause button and not be too tempted to let go and climax.

When you're close to climaxing, O'Reilly recommends breathing slowly and deeply so your partner knows. Then, they should de-accelerate by slowing down their thrusts or hand/mouth stimulation...until you signal that you're ready to ramp up the action again. When you feel like you can't take it anymore, encourage your partner to keep doing what they're doing so you can experience the intense orgasm you've been putting off.

“As you play edging, pay attention to how you feel in your body—you might feel greater intensity in your groin, but many people report feeling more full-body pleasure when they prolong the sexual experience,” says O’Reilly.

"When [two partners] eventually reach orgasm, they might feel that it is more powerful—the contractions may be stronger and more numerous, the pleasure might be deeper, it might last longer, and they may feel a wave of pleasure one their entire body.”

As much as we love a quickie, sometimes you need to have the kind of sex that lasts long and really hits all of your pleasure triggers. Edging can help you do that.

Source: Sex - Health.com | 25 Apr 2019 | 10:40 am(NZT)

What It Was Really Like to Try a Butt Plug for the First Time

I’m a 25-year-old sex and wellness writer with a hearty (nay, adventurous) collection of sex toys, and yet I’ve never been able to make myself orgasm. I’ve masturbated with my hand, the cult-favorite Magic Wand, a crystal dildo, the clit-stimulating Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration, a G-spot vibrator (or four), and while watching porn and reading erotica. But while I’m able to make myself feel good, I’ve never been able to take myself to the O-zone.

You’re probably wondering if I’ve ever orgasmed with a partner. I have. My first orgasm ever happened a few months ago during vaginal penetration with my partner of 18 months. And it happened a handful of times after that initial, um, release.

But now that I’m single again, I’m about as O-free as, well, a Disney movie. Honestly, I assumed that after orgasming with my partner, I’d be able to get there again on my own, but still nope.

My lifelong, not-a-medical-professional hypothesis for why I have a hard time coming is that in high school before I was sexually active I was on anti-anxiety medication for few months—meds that have a rep for messing with libido and sexual function. So when Alicia Sinclair, sex educator and CEO of b-Vibe, told me, “Women often report that their ability to enjoy anal sex and climax through anal stimulation is less affected by medication,” I decided to bring a second hole into my solo-time.

Without getting into too much detail, I’d played with my partner's butt (shoutout to Lelo’s Hugo prostate massager), but beyond a lick and flick here and there, my butt never attended the party. Sinclair convinced me to get the party started.

While I have dildos in every shape and color (including rainbow!), Sinclair informed me that when it comes to butt play, you want to find something with a flared base. “Unlike your vagina, which stops at your cervix, your anus keeps going all the way into your digestive system, which is why you want a structure that keeps the plug from getting lost inside you.” Yikes.

Also, at risk of sounding like a size queen, all of my dildos are longer than five inches, which TBH intimidated the eff out of my peach.

I decided now wasn’t a time to be stingy. While I usually prefer sex toys made of glass or steel because I like the heft, Sinclair says silicone products are better for newbies, so I bought an “anal training kit” complete with three silicone butt plugs at increasing sizes (three, four, and five inches) and also a vibrating butt plug made of silicone (because I’m an overachiever).

Then, I stocked up on more of my favorite silicone-based lube. Why lube and why silicone-based? Not to over-hype it, but in my experience lube can take your sex life from a Charlotte to a Samantha in 10 seconds flat—or however long it takes to dig through your night table and flip open the top of the bottle.

Plus, your butt simply doesn't self-lubricate. “It’s imperative that you have some lube on hand to facilitate a smooth experience," says clinical sexologist Megan Stubbs. "I would recommend applying lubricant to both the toy and to your anus."

I decided a silicone-based lube would be best because Sinclair suggested that the first time I use the butt plug I do it in the shower, and I know from ~experience~ that water-based lube washes off in the shower, while a silicone-based lube has more staying power.

While Sinclair said I didn’t need to worry about making a mess (because I had to ask if poop was going to be an issue) and could play in my bed, she says showers are best for beginners: “It’s warm, which will help you relax, and there’s more flexibility for positions.”

Fast forward to a lovely January morning at the ripe hour of 10 a.m. when I knew my roommate would be gone for at least two hours—and also when I needed a shower (#multitasking). I (unironically) lit my favorite Boy Smell Candle, moved my speakers into the bathroom, and set up shop on the counter. I arranged my butt plugs from smallest to largest and tested the settings of my vibrating toy to get a sense of how it would feel (on my hand, it felt the same as any other low-powered vibe). Then, I stripped down and stepped in the shower, tube of lube in hand.

I closed my eyes and hummed along to The Weeknd, my self-pleasure soundtrack of choice. After sudsing up my hands, I ran them along my body (because, Team Foreplay) and remembered to breathe, thanks to Sinclair's advice. When I was thoroughly immersed in my go-to James Dean fantasy, I lubed up and got down to business.

Honestly, it wasn’t super intuitive. First, I tried standing with my feet shoulder-width apart, bending forward and trying to insert the three-incher almost as if I was inserting a tampon. But getting the plug at a 45-degree angle toward my belly button as Sinclair had instructed wasn’t working.

I tried again, this time with my hand behind my back. Success! Once the tip of the plug made contact with my anus, I made small circles, almost rocking it side to side against the hole. It took about two minutes of wiggling to get the plug all the way in.

How’d it feel? OK. Not painful. The best way I can describe it is that I felt full. And “stuffed” was the only sensation I felt—until I started touching my clit, that is. As I touched myself with the butt plug in place, it felt like the ring of nerves around my anus and the nerves in my clit were having a full-blown, sexy conversation. It was as if my clit was more sensitive because of the plug. I think how taboo the whole setup felt turned me on too. Here I was, a woman taking responsibility for her pleasure, and with a butt plug, nonetheless.

I wish I could tell you the butt plug brought me oodles of orgasms. It didn’t. After about 15 minutes, I added a dollop of lube to my finger, which I teased around the lip of the plug, and wriggled it out. Because I know you're probably wondering: There was no fecal residue on the plug, and my anus returned to its normal shape roughly five seconds after. (“The anal sphincter will always return to its normal size,” Sinclair says.)

So, no I didn’t come with a butt plug either. But overall, I’d call the whole experiment a success. While I can’t promise I’ll take my butt plug to the bathroom every time my roommate bops out for an errand, it is something I can see myself experimenting with again—especially because I haven’t tried the vibrating plug yet. And I'd certainly be open to finding a new partner who will want to give me some oral while I use that plug. Because that, my friends, is ultimate #bootygoals.

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Source: Sex - Health.com | 19 Jan 2019 | 5:20 am(NZT)

Is Faking an Orgasm Ever a Good Idea?

"Fake it till you make it" isn't the best motto when it comes to sex. But if you've ever gone through the theatrics of pretending to have an orgasm, you’re certainly not alone. One study found that 67% of heterosexual women admitted to occasionally faking climax in bed, a number that's nothing to scoff at.

Why do so many women put on an enthusiastic yet ingenuous performance for a partner? The persistent myth that sex isn't any good if a woman fails to cross that finish line is one major reason, says Rachel Needle, psychologist and certified sex therapist in West Palm Beach, Florida and co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. Another factor is the deluded idea that if you don't have an O, there's something wrong with you—even though reams of studies have shown that the majority of women do not have an orgasm during penetrative sex.

Faking isn't a good thing; you fool your partner into thinking that you're experiencing true pleasure, and you cheat yourself out of it as well. In the moment, it seems harmless, but over time, it can start to damage your bond. Since it's so common and controversial, we decided to take a deeper dive into why so many women do it, how it affects relationships, plus easy ways to turn things around so you get the authentic orgasms you deserve.

All the reasons women fake orgasm

Pretending to climax can be a simple way to get sex over with. Maybe you're not into your partner, you're too wired with anxiety, you're seriously exhausted, or you're worried that your partner is getting bored waiting for you to hit that high note. Whatever the reason, you close your eyes, take some deep breaths, and rattle off a string of oohs and ahhs.

Another reason women fake is because they're playing a role—they want a partner to think of them as fun and sexual, says Kimberly Resnick Anderson, certified sex therapist and assistant professor of psychiatry at UCLA School of Medicine. There's a case to be made for this, Anderson says, because when a woman sees that her partner is turned on by her supposed climax, it could make her more excited. That could potentially help her get to an orgasm IRL. But it's still performing, and there's something dishonest at the core.

The biggest reason women fake orgasm? To protect a male partner's ego. “Men often define themselves as good lovers by their partners having an orgasm, so they can be rather insistent,” points out Deborah Fox, a certified sex therapist in Washington, DC. Yet by pretending, women are only perpetuating the myth that goal-driven sex (the goal being an orgasm) is the only way sex can be truly satisfying.

The damage it can do to your relationship

So faking it is like telling a white lie—no one really gets hurt, right? Not exactly. When you have a faux O, you convince your partner that their strokes and touches truly got you off—so they repeat the same moves next time, and then the next time. This inhibits them from trying new things, warns Dr. Needle. Even if you're faking it to make your partner feel validated or macho, you’re doing your relationship a disservice by not exploring moves that really might lead to an orgasm...and give them a true reason to feel pumped.

By faking, women also end up “perpetuating an unhealthy message that female sexual pleasure is less important than male sexual pleasure,” says Anderson. There may be times when you want your partner to just lean back and enjoy, sure, but you can’t always put your needs on pause. If you do, you’ll eventually want sex less, because your not pursuing the action you actually want. Faking an O also tricks your partner into thinking that women always climax via penetration, which, as we said earlier, just isn't true.

How to come clean and have genuinely awesome orgasms

The first thing to do is realize that there's no way around a potentially awkward conversation. Whatever your reason for playing along, you've got to (wo)man up and talk it out with your partner. Approach it from a neutral place, and frame things in a positive, direct, yet gentle way—that you want to have more, better, deeper orgasms. And you have a few sexy ideas you want to try out with them to make it happen.

Uncomfortable, sure, at first. But your partner wants you to feel pleasure (and if not, reconsider the whole relationship). It's a convo you have to have, so use the opportunity to reveal the strokes you want more of, fantasies to experiment with that will allow you to let go, and other things you both can do to make sex more comfortable and connected.

Eight out of 10 women aren’t able to climax from penile-vaginal penetration, according to research, so consider taking intercourse off the table and suggest sex that's more hands-on, or oral sex, or sex involving toys like a vibrator. Clitoral stimulation and different types of touch are definite orgasm triggers, and they keep your partner a part of the action.

And don't forget, you can still rock the sheets and feel sexually satisfied without even having an orgasm. If it's just not happening for whatever reason, it's fine to “say, 'lets take a break' or 'I'd like to stop" without having to justify it any further,” says Brandy Engler, PsyD, author of The Women on my Couch, The Men on my Couch. Allow yourself to let go of the pressure and just forget about the orgasm. Enjoy the sensations and focus on being in the moment, the connection, and the pleasure.

Source: Sex - Health.com | 18 Jul 2018 | 10:21 am(NZT)

8 Women Share the Foreplay Moves That Always Get Them in the Mood

Foreplay has a reputation as a warm up or lead in to sex, the appetizer to the main course—which is intercourse. But maybe it's time we stop thinking about it in such an old-school way. After all, only 30% of women can reach orgasm from penis-in-vagina penetration alone. It's the moves we typically think of as foreplay—clitoral stroking, deep kissing, and oral sex—that bring most women to the heights of pleasure.

With this in mind, we want to encourage women (and their partners!) to take foreplay way beyond a kiss here and a touch there. To inspire you, we asked real women who consider themselves major foreplay fans to tell us the specific move that always fires their desire . . . and serves as the main event itself. Here's what they revealed.

'Touching tongues gets me aroused instantly'

“I love a good makeout sesh! It's simple but it works every time, and touching tongues gets me aroused almost instantly. If there's a little neck and ear biting and licking added to the mix, that's amazing, too. When my partner and I engage in this kind of foreplay for long periods, it gets me really excited for sex; the anticipation factor builds up my arousal and his, too. It can sometimes be even more pleasurable than the penetration itself.”

'Nipple action drives me crazy in the best way'

“I love when my partner sucks on my nipples—nothing too hard, but when I’m already turned on a little, it feels like the sensation is doubled. It drives me crazy but in the best way.”

'I want to hear what my partner is going to do to me'

“I’m a very verbal person, and I want to hear what my partner is going to do to me and how I turn them on. That usually starts through texting and escalates when we’re together in person. An ex of mine used to say the most detailed things to me: 'I’m getting hard on the subway just thinking about us lying together naked again' or 'I miss your ass, your hair, and your lips so much.' Once they started talking dirty, I felt safe enough to verbalize back how sexy I find them and how much I want them.”

'Feeling skin rubbing together gets me going'

“I love some good dry humping. I know that sounds so gross, but something about the anticipation of sex and the sensation of clothes and skin rubbing up against each other gets me going.”

'Oral sex always makes me orgasm'

“I used to feel weird about my boyfriend going down on me, but now it's a regular part of our foreplay routine. Straight up penetration doesn't quite do it for me, but oral sex always makes me orgasm. We do that first, so I'm close to an orgasm when we start having sex. That way, we're both set up to (hopefully!) orgasm. Added bonus: There's no real need for lube when oral sex is part of the foreplay equation.”

'I love giving in to a fantasy'

'His wanting to please me was a big turn-on'

'Giving and getting pleasure is the best foreplay'

“My favorite move is being at his side and performing oral sex on him while he’s fingering me at the same time. It gets both of us off, so that’s the best kind of foreplay for me. I find giving while getting to be insanely pleasurable."

Source: Sex - Health.com | 1 Mar 2018 | 12:12 pm(NZT)

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